In which I pity myself a little bit.

I’ve just bought over $80 worth of stuff on Amazon. Using my credit card. It felt like old times.

The catch: none of this was taken out of my budget. I mentioned in my last post that my dentist frightened me into submission about how I’d end up like my mother (needing painful and expensive dental implants because of my early signs of developing periodontal disease) unless I buy a fancy toothbrush, among other things. So, I spent about $60-ish on an electric toothbrush and heads. I also spent $20-ish on paint supplies for some wedding DIY crafty stuff which, also, isn’t to be taken out of my allowance.

“Well, why the hell do you care, then?” you ask? Because I got way, way too giddy about shopping on Amazon again as I was making these purchases.

What I used to do with Amazon was the following:

  1. Do a search for the legitimate product I needed to buy
  2. Add the item to my cart
  3. Get sucked into the “recommended for you based on your interests” lists that show up when I add something to my cart
  4. Hunt for those random things that sparked my interest
  5. End up adding at least 2 or 3 other items to my cart
  6. Check out
  7. Feel excited
  8. Feel depressed that I fell for the trickery and for my weakness

The good news is that I only purchased what I needed. I didn’t deviate. Go me!

The bad news is that I so, so wanted to. When I added the toothbrush to my cart, I immediately thought, “Oh, maybe I should be a little corner shelf for next to the sink to put it on since we probably don’t have enough space for it near our faucet!” I was noticeably excited at the idea of getting this glorious plastic shelf. I searched and found one for $28 and was a heartbeat away from clicking “add to cart” before my conscience slapped me in the back of the skull and said, “STOP, YOU CRAZY WOMAN!”

I checked out without buying the shelf, but I so totally want it. The “me” from 3 weeks ago would’ve bought it without hesitation. I wouldn’t have thought, “Hey, maybe I should go home and measure my counter space to see if it fits before I think about buying a shelf.” It would not have crossed my mind at all.

I feel happy that I didn’t buy it, but I am a bit sad at how freaking happy I felt at the idea of buying this stupid plastic shelf. Quite sad, actually. I’m definitely not close to being different in my spending. It’s been less than three weeks – I have a long way to go. I may be successful at sticking to my allowance right now, but my mind is still where it was three weeks ago: buy now, ask questions later never.

Weekly Allowance: $60.00
Weekly Allowance Remaining: $57.12

J